A trip down to the shops.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
 
audigier t shirts and bejeweled
mīkstās mēbeles no „Rīgas mēbeļu serviss”

Мягкая мебель в традиционном смысле - это комплект, состоящий из дивана и двух кресел. К роду мягкой мебели относятся также диваны, кушетки, угловые диваны, кресла, кровати, пуфики, раздвижные диваны, диваны-кресла и прочее. Мягкая мебель предназначена для отдыха хозяев дома и их гостей и устанавливается чаще всего в гостиной.

Restorāns "Aleksandrs" veiksmīgi darbojas jau kopš 1998.gada un šajā laika posmā ir kļuvis par vienu no ievērojamākajiem restorāniem Rīga ar pārbaudītu ēdiena un servisa kvalitāti.

Ресторан в Риге, организация банкетов

Bejeweled™ brand creator Susan Fixel has been setting trends in the fashion world for more than 20 years. Her style is characterised by her interest in rock 'n' roll lifestyle, as well as a passion for colourful fabrics and ornate details. Bejeweled™ chic and concurrently witty design is a favourite of Beyoncé Knowles, Paris Hilton, Eva Longoria, Jessica Alba and other superstars.

Inverts.lv - tulkošanas pakalpojumi, перевод английского
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
 
Virgin Mary To Be Immortalized In the Style of Rent
Чартеры в Египет

Because Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar, and hippie fag fest Godspell weren't religiousy enough, a new (kid-tested) Pope-approved musical called Mary of Nazareth will belt its way around Europe, Latin America, and (gasp!) some Middle Eastern countries starting on June 17th, in the Vatican.

Забронировать авиабилет онлайн

"'We have sponsored this work with pleasure because Mary of Nazareth is the woman who has communicated and still communicates to mankind today the word of God made man," said a Vatican official of the work.

Eksotiskās tūres, Indija

"Plus, she no have-a da sex," he added. It's always nice when the Church approves singing and dancing. We're looking forward the novelization of this fascinating story. Oh and then the movie of the novelization with John Travolta, Jennifer Hudson, and Harvey Fierstein. Also, this must mean that Muhammad: The Musical is forthcoming, right? No? No, not at all? OK. I see.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
 
I think it's an interesting info
Buy a Property in Egypt

Red Sea Cities, especially Hurghada are beautiful exotic Cities as mentioned by visitors who come. Many travelers find themselves working or staying long term, and holidaymakers as well.

A large proportion of visitors want to buy for different reasons:
Investment – Hurghada has produced clear investment returns over the last six years, and this looks set to continue long into the future. If you are buying as an investor then you have to focus on:
Both of these will produce the best returns and the most profitable investment. If you wish to buy and hold then offer to sell in the future. Property Purchase - Most people who invest in Hurghada do so because they want to live or holiday here. This means that they want to invest via a property that they can live in.

  • Расфасовка химических продуктов, нефтехимия

    Купить метанол, купить этиленгликоль

  • Wednesday, December 01, 2004
     
    Scam I Am.

    This has exactly the same story as the previous scammers tale of Rgaedas, and in fact they were both trying to scam me out of the same product, the Nokia 7600 video camera phone. His eagerness to scam me seems to transcend reason on many occasions, but even Muo Wayne has his breaking point.



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 1.

    Hello seller,
    complement on the season, i got ur product on the site and which i wanna get it down for my son in africa.
    my name is Muo Wayne am from netherland i really wanna but the items for my son so i want u to claculate the UPS shipping charge to africa as soon as this is done i want u to reply me back fast so we can quick get this done .

    I have been out seaching for this item so when i was doing my seaching i got to your item , so i will like to buy maybe 2 of it now and i juet open an accout with bidpay {western union auction payment } so i wish to send my payment through this method so mail me back with your address information and the total of the item you are willing to sell for me

    THANKS



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 1.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    You have not been specific enough. Africa is a large continent that comprises of many countries, and it costs much more to send a package to Sudan than to South Africa, mainly due to the political leanings of most UPS agents. If it is of interest I am doing a special half-price discount this week on all packages sent to Nigeria, I hope you will be able to take me up on this offer.
    I am prepared to sell 2 Nokia video phones for only £251.83, a price I am sure you will agree to considering you are using Bidpay. I am not sure why your son would need two of these phones though, Unless he has two heads, like a Thalidomide victim. Do you want both phones sent to the same address, or perhaps I could send one to you in the Nether-regions that you inhabit?

    Please respond with extreme haste.
    Vic Jameson.



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 2.

    Hello seller i got ur mail and i want u to give me ur address and full name so that i can make the payment to day and also reply me back fast be i can go to my bank this is the following address i want u to ship it to in africa coss i want it for my son in africa so am gonnna be paying u here in netherland ok SO I WANT U TO TELL ME THE FULL AMOUNT SO AM GONNA BE PAYING TO U TODAY AND ALSO THE ADDRESS AND ASWELL

    REMA WAYNE

    1 SHOLA BELLO STREET AKIODE

    IKEJA

    LAGOS STATE

    23401

    NIGERIA

    seller the phone is going to my son in africa and he is not using it there but reselling it at the staore in africa ok. so ur address so i can make the payment today



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 4.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    How fortunate that you want the phones to be sent to Nigeria. Who would have thought that out of all the countries on that large continent it would be Nigeria that you wanted the phone sent to, I'm quite lost for words. This means that I will be able to sell you these phones, includung postage and packing for only £369.69. Please ensure that Bidpay tell me that you have made this spurious payment as soon as possible so that I can send the items to you.

    My details a

    Moors Murderer Ian Brady,
    Ashworth Secure Psychiatric Hospital,
    Parkbourn,
    Maghull,
    L31 1HW

    I am glad to hear that your son is not a genetic freak, but is in fact an entrepreneur. It is better than living the life of a thief as some people from Nigeria choose.

    Reply instantly, I demand it.
    Vic Jameson.



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 4.

    Thank you for your immediate replies and understandings.i am just coming from my bank and I have just sent you the payment and i hope western union has notify you of my payment and if not yet, i believe they will do so soonest ok? So i sent you the money for the phone and the shipping arrangement ,so that it will be ok for you and as i told you it urgent,so as soon as you recieve the comfirmation of my payment i will wan't you to mail me and also send the phone to my daughter asap today or tommorow . So you will need to send the shipment tracking number you to the western union customers service (westernunion.costumer.services@emailaccount.com)for shipment verification and after the shipment tracking number is verified. They can send you the money order to your resident and the money order will be brought to your resident by the western union agent as long as you can provide the PIN NUMBER you are giving on the confirmation approval of my payment to prove you are the right person to recieve the money order ok?

    Thanks.



    It was now time for his scam to take off proper. It was time for intervention by Western Union themselves . . . or was it? As it happens I really don't think Western Union use the email address union@writeme.com, nor do I believe that their customer services email address is provided my emailaccount.com either. Well, at least he was trying.



    From: Western Union.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: ORDER PENDING.
    Sent: Day 4.


    Dear Moors Murderer Ian Brady,

    Western union BidPay® has received your email address from Muo Wayne to inform you of the order to have a £369.69 Western Union ® Money OrderSM sent to you for:

    Auction Item : Nokia 7600 Mobile Phone

    Please verify that the following address (as entered by the buyer) is correct.

    Moors Murderer Ian Brady,
    Ashworth Secure Psychiatric Hospital,
    Parkbourn,
    Maghull,
    L31 1HW
    UK

    As a seller, all payment will be sent to the outline address, in order to avoid delays with this money order and with future payments.

    This order is PENDING approval. Most orders are approved within 24 hours of being placed; however, there may be exceptions. Some items may be considered high risk because of the item cost or description. These types of orders are subject to additional verification and may take longer to approve. You will receive an Order Approved email from us when this order is approved. You SHOULD NOT send this item to the buyer until you receive the confirmation email informing you that the order has been approved.

    Thank you for using Western Union BidPay. We look forward to serving your online auction payment needs in the future.

    Sincerely,

    Amir Muighburin

    Western Union BidPay



    From: Western Union.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: ORDER APROVED.
    Sent: Day 4.



    Dear Moors Murderer Ian Brady,

    Western Union BidPay ® hereby congratulate you and also want to inform you that the ® Money OrderSM sent to you from Muo wayne has been Approved.

    ® Money OrderSM : £369.69
    Auction Item : Nokia 7600 Phone
    Please verify that the following address (as entered by the buyer) is correct once again.

    Moors Murderer Ian Brady,
    Ashworth Secure Psychiatric Hospital,
    Parkbourn,
    Maghull,
    L31 1HW
    UK

    This mo ney order has been approved and will be sent out TODAY to the above address provided by the buyer and you should expect it in 72 hours. You CAN NOW send the items to the buyer. Moreover you will also identify your self with your ®drivers licence or your ®Social security number.

    N.B

    NOTE THAT THE MONEY ORDER WILL NOT GET TO YOUR RESIDENCE IF SHIPMENT TRACKING NUMBER IS NOT SENT TO US IN THE NEXT 24HRS FOR SHIPMENT VERIFICATION IN OTHER TO SECURE BOTH THE SELLER AND THE BUYER.

    And if you have any question, feel free to contact our customer service at (westernunion.costumer.services@emailaccount.com)

    Thank you for using Western Union BidPay ®. We look forward to serving your online auction payment needs in the future.

    Sincerely,

    Amir Muighburin

    Western Union BidPay



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 5.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    I have received a message from Bidpay telling me that my payment has been 'aproved'. It certainly is a very efficient service, and one I trust you used to forward the money to your son for his sex change operation. I hope he will be accepted for who he is.
    I will attempt to post the package tomorrow and will alert Bidpay through the bogus e-mail address provided. I must warn you that UPS is currently on strike in the UK in protest of the brown and yellow uniforms they have to wear; not that I blame them. This means I may have to use an alternative courier service, but I will inform you of what I decide and send you the tracking information.
    I am sorry if this is inconvenient, but I have never been ripped-off in this way before, so please forgive me. I trust that if you accept your son's decision then you shouldn't have a problem with this.

    Let me know if you are ok with this. Now.
    Vic Jameson.



    It was now time for my own scam to get into full swing. The next day my afternoon involved going into town and finding a suitable box that would look like it might contain a mobile phone or two. I chose a lovely blue number with a removable lid, took it home, padded it out with some tissue, and then I extracted all the shit I could find from my cat's litter tray and laid the offerings inside.

    It was wrapped in brown paper, addressed to Rema Wayne and taken down to the post office to be sent to Nigeria.




    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 5.

    Hello seller well i got ue mail and i wanna ask for how long is the items gonna reach africa and how about ups y cant u send it there.......



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 6.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    Due to having to escape the police because of a serious crime I have commited I cannot use UPS anymore. You must understand this, or I may have to sell this phone to another Nigerian rip-off merchant. I have sent the phone to you already via Royal Mail though, so there is not much that I can do about this.
    I must say that I am surprised that you cannot seem to accept this simple change considering the change in your son's genitalia that you find completely acceptable. Seeing as you can still keep track of the parcel sent, and that it has cost more than UPS for no extra charge to you I think it would be unreasonable for you to complain. You can track the parcel here:

    http://www.royalmail.com/portal/rm

    Click on Track & Trace and put in the tracking code:

    RI 1158 9517 5GB

    I hope this satisfies you sufficiently. I will also send this information to the sham e-mail address you provided for Bidpay so they can release the money to me. How will this happen? Will they supply me in Monopoly money, with a cheque, or maybe a bogus postal order?

    Immediate response demanded.
    Vic Jameson.



    Time to let Western Union (*cough* bollocks *cough*) know the details also.



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Western Union.
    Subject: Tracking Number.
    Sent: Day 6.

    Dear Western Union/Bidpay,
    I have sent the goods which can be tracked via the code:

    RI 1158 9517 5GB

    This has been sent by Royal Mail (www.royalmail.com)

    My details are:

    Moors Murderer Ian Brady,
    Ashworth Secure Psychiatric Hospital,
    Parkbourn,
    Maghull,
    L31 1HW
    UK

    You may now send me my money from the Nigerian Muo Wayne, who assures me that his son's decision to become a woman is fully endorsed by him and his family. Still, at least neither of them have to steal from good hard working people like me, as I am sure we can all agree that thieves are scum, and deserve nothing less than fecal matter delivered directly to their doorstep.

    In the vain hope of getting money.
    Moors Murderer Ian Brady.



    From: Western Union.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: ORDER DELAY.
    Sent: Day 7.



    Dear costumer,

    Thank u for using BidPay®.

    We are to inform you that you have provied an incorrect tracking number for this auction and that the buyer to contact Ebay and report for the following act and also for your both secure use when items been sent dont send the tracking to the buyer untill u have your cash® .

    Sincerely,

    Amir Muighburin

    Western Union BidPay



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Western Union.
    Subject: ORDER DELAY.
    Sent: Day 7.

    Dear Western Union\Bidpay,
    I fear that you are confusing me with somebody else. I am not, as you so stated, a costumer, or costumier as we prefer to say in the United Kingdom. My job is fact that of a 'white slave trader', perfect if you require a white woman to be your forced bride, but not if you want me to dress somebody as Richard the third.
    If you recheck the tracking number RI 1158 9517 5GB at http://www.royalmail.com/portal/rm/track then you will find that the parcel is well on its way to Nigeria. Surely only the most retarded operator would be able to get this wrong.
    Out of interest, have you recently employed a person from Nigeria to write your emails, as the grammar, spelling and general competence of your last email reminds me of those I recieve from Muo Wayne, a man I am growing increasingly distrustful of? If I can tell you this in confidence, then between you and me I have a feeling that Muo Wayne is ridden with syphilis, and the madness that springs forth thereof. It is likely due to a life of whore-mongery, deceit and stupidity. Perhaps a small amount of the money entrusted to you for me can be returned to him in order for him to purchase some condoms so as not to spread his filthy diseases.

    I look forward to a hasty and satisfactory response.
    Moors Murderer Ian Brady.


    I heard nothing for three days after this, and so I naturally assumed that the whole thing was at an end but for Muo Wayne's little surprise package. Oh how wrong I was.



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 10.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    What on Earth is happening? It appears that like a paedophile with a Werther's Original you lured me in and abused my kindly nature, I do hope this isn't the case. I have received NO word from Bidpay since they erroneously sent me a rather badly misspelled and atrociously worded email I cannot even fully attest to the fact that is an attempt at communication.
    I suspect that the company has been taken over by illiterate spastics and your money is not safe there. As a result we must find a different method of payment for the wonderful pieces I have sent you, items that you must no doubt be eager to receive. As you will see, the tracking information tells us both that the package has been passed on to the overseas mail sevices and that you will 'get it' soon. I am happy to accept a forged cheque, or the national currency of Nigeria which I have been led to believe is the 'SIM card'.
    You already have my address at the Hospital where you must send payment within the next twelve hours, this is a final demand of the highest urgency. I wish harm to you and your family if you are a thieving gypsy.

    The Nokias are crap anyway.
    Vic Jameson.



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 10.

    Hello western told me they got tracking number but said it not going through so i wanna comfrim from u coss i tod them to wait am gonna sk if the tems was sending to my son..



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 11.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    The tracking number of RI 1158 9517 5GB has not changed since sending you the last email containing it. Neither did I make an error in the two times I sent Bidpay the details, that's just not the kind of thing I would do, I'm not that much of a fool. As I said before, I believe that Western Union has become a den of imbecile thieves who should not be entrusted with your made-up money.
    For some reason Bidpay told me not to tell you the tacking number, but considering having it would mean the package is on its way to you it seems a pointless excercise; another reason why I believe Western Union has become a cess-pit of African thieves with no mental capacity. I am sure you have checked the tracking details yourself, and are aware that the package is nearly with you, have you done this?
    You must send Bidpay an email, a company who may understand most of what you are saying as their ability with the English language is only slightly worse than yours, and tell them that they must release the money to me instantly. I can't think of any reason, unless the money doesn't exist, why they would not do this.

    Reply to me, don't steal from me.
    Vic Jameson.



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 12.

    Hello seller they will get ur money sent all they just wanna do is to know i really u send the items or not so now u have told me thia am gonna go to the bank and tel them what gong on. ok



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 12.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    Thank you for your swift reply. You know it's funny, but I didn't think I'd hear much from you once the item was winging its way to your gender-challenged son/daughter. I am sure you can imagine my joy at our continued correspondence regarding the difficult issue of the money you owe me that is severly overdue.
    From your previous email I take it that you will inform Bidpay to send me my money, and an email ensuring me that this is the case, in English as opposed to the language they used prevously. If this issue is not resolved within the last twelve hours of yesterday then I will have to take further measures, possibly even up to the point of activating my Islamic terror cell in Nigeria to take action.

    Out of interest, do you have any other children with you in the Netherlands under the age of sixteen? I love taking walking trips on Saddleworth Moor, but my trekking partner, Myra, has recently died. As it is only a short walk from the Netherlands to England I wondered if perhaps next time I was off for a ramble a son or daughter of yours may like to come with me? I can't promise thet they'll want to come back it is so peaceful there. Do let me know what you decide.

    Ever finding a way to evade the nurses.
    Vic Jameson.



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 13.

    Hello chris how are u doing today well i have a daugter but she is in africa too i will show u her pic but what are u trying to do u try to buy my daughter from me like the way i brought ur phone....



    Then, five minutes later...



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 13.

    Hello here is the pics so i wanna know how many days does the shipping takes





    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 13.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    My word, what a lovely daughter you have. I trust she is not the one that used to be a man. Although my main job is buying and selling white people, the offer of purchasing your daughter does intrigue me. How much would you be prepared to sell her for, and will she give her consent for such a transaction? Please do let me know as soon as possible and I will use Bidpay to send the money to you in exchange for your daughter.
    The package I sent you should take between five and ten days to get to you, and it will require your signature once it arrives. Do let me know if you are happy with what I have sent you, and if your son/daughter finds a good price for it in the stores there in Nigeria. Let him/her know that Nigerians are always looking for ways to steal, so she/he should be very careful.
    I would ask you not to call me Chris, even though that is what it may say on the emails you get from me. Chris was the name of my wife who died a horrible and painful death only a few months ago and I have not taken her name from my email account yet. My name is Ian Brady, Moors Murderer, but that has nothing to do with the demise of my wife. She was gang raped to death by lesbians in prison, but I would prefer not to talk about it.

    With hope of buying your offspring.
    Vic Jameson.



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 13.

    Hello Brady,

    well i got ur mail and am not selling my daughter to u so if u really want to see her when she is back from africa u can come here in netherland to see here ok but am sure she has a bf of her own.



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 14.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    I am saddened that we cannot come to a satisfactory deal regarding your daughter, but if you ever change your mind don't hesitate in dropping me a line, I don't mind going back to the old-school in my line of business. On the same note, if you are interested in buying any white women from me I would be happy to send you a small bio of some of my best items, do tell me if this arouses you in any way.
    I have still heard nothing from Western Union which is slightly worrying, and if I didn't know any better I would have thought you were trying to acquire phones without paying. Please ensure that they send me an email informing me that my payment has been sent as I can't wait to see how much their grammar, spelling and punctuation has degraded. Whoever writes those emails must have phones-for-brains.
    Were I not to get any message from Western Union/Bidpay withing the next day or two I will have no alternative but to contact the Post Office and ask them to return my package post-haste. This is something I would rather not do, but I don't give this crap away for free.

    Demanding multiple responses.
    Vic Jameson.



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 14.

    Hello seller there was delay coss f the thanksgiving ok



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 14.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    I have been to the Bidpay website, and they themselves claim that there are no delays due to a holiday celebrated in neither my country, the Nether-regions you are found around, or the place your son/daughter and prefessionally photographed daughter whom I am unable to purchase reside. This means that your answer is unsatisfactory. I demand an email from Bidpay within 24 hours, and you know what will happen if I don't. I also have the threat of my Islamic terror cell which I have yet to fall back on. When combined with the address you have provided and a 747 I'm sure you will agree that there can be no reason for Bidpay not to contact me, even if it means you writing the email yourself.
    You did not say whether you are interested in the purchase of a white woman to do your every bidding, I can assure you that it would be worth all the SIM cards you are worth. Unless of course you are not into women, I could sell you a very well hung white man with his own built in lubricant dispenser and a willingness to 'drag up'. If either of the above offers interest you then do let me know.
    On the subject of your daughter, the real one that is, not the one that used to be a man; do you have any naked pictures of her, as the delays I have experienced regarding your money deserve nothing less. As an alternative you could always send me some naked pictures of yourself, that might stop me informing the Post Office of the delay in payment. It's in your hands, like the penis of your boyfriend.

    Reply or die.
    Vic Jameson.



    From: Muo Wayne.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 15.

    Hello enoghf of this shit u will get ur money soon ok. will contact bidpay ok



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 15.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    I don't think you've had enough of my shit just yet, but you will soon. That said, I have had to deal with enough of yours up until now, so we are probably even at this point.
    I am sorry if my insinuation that you were a shit-stabber caused offence, it certainly wasn't supposed to, but the vulgar language you used in return was quite unacceptable. This may be because English is not your first or second language, but do please be aware that using the word 'enoghf' is disgusting, obscene and fucking atrocious, never use it in any of our communications again.
    I have still heard nothing from Bidpay, which is very odd is it not? One would expect a company as well respected as Western Union would not act like a common Nigerian thief, of which I am sure your daughter and son/daughter know many from simply walking the streets touting for business. Talking of which, even though I cannot purchase your lovely daughter outright, would it be possible to secure her for an evening at a time? I understand fifty pounds is the going rate and I would be happy to pay that sum.

    Money for nothing but your 'kids' for free!
    Vic Jameson.



    It didn't come as a great surprise that I stopped hearing from Muo Wayne eventually, but considering that there must be a limit to his gullability it was surprising that it took so long. I tried again to contact him.



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: Muo Wayne.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 18.

    Dear Muo Wayne,
    I have been left rather non-plussed by your recent excuses, and to compound my feelings of mistrust I have still heard nothing from Bidpay, why could this be? Do you not have the wit to attempt another email? To be honest, it doesn't even have to be very convincing, much like the previous ones, just show that you're making an effort for my goods.
    If you intend to take my shit without paying then beyond sending a parcel bomb to the address you provided to maim your transexual son there would seem to be little I can do. All I can say is that I live with the satisfaction of being a useful member of society and not a gypsy-like economic letch forced to pick over the bones of the terminally stupid on the internet. I mean, really, how many times, if ever, has this little ploy of yours ever been successful?
    Do keep me updated and let me know how you get on with what I have sent you; what you have managed to steal. You must be awfully proud of your achievments thus far, and to contributing towards Niegeria's fourth largest industry, that of internet fraud. It only leaves for me to call you a cunt and to bid you good day.

    In the satisfaction that you will get what you deserve.
    Vic Jameson.



    It is unfortunate, but I have heard nothing more from him. However, it will be possible for you all to check the status of the parcel at the Roayal Mail website, and unless customs were alerted by the smell I have no doubt that he will sign-for and accept my cat's shit. As I said, he will get exactly what he deserves.
    Saturday, November 27, 2004
     
    Scammer Holocaust.

    We've all been there in one way or another, whether it's through using Ebay, a message board, a newsgroup, or just through owning an e-mail address, someone has tried to scam money from us. This recently happened with my girlfriend who was trying to sell a Nokia 7600 video-camera-phone on Ebay, impeding her sale no end, and so I took it upon myself to retaliate, to give just as much bullshit as they give, and to see exactly how far I could string them along until they realised they were being scammed themselves.

    This is the story of David Reid a.k.a. evesmith2 a.k.a. Rgaedas, a Nigerian scammer of the simplest nature. Is it really worth driving somebody over the edge for a Nokia? How would a scammer feel about dealing with a high ranking Nazi official? Did Rgaedas finally succumb to the bottle of sleeping pills? All will be revealed.



    From: David Reid.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 1.

    Q: hello. Im highly interested in buying this item for ous boss dauther in nigeria.who is there on an education mission.I will likle to know .............. Firstly if you ship to africa(nigeria) via UPS courier sercice Seconly i will like to know if you accept international money order via Bidpay a subsdiary of western union money transfer. Kindly get back to as soon as possible. Regards.

    a nikia 7600 moiel camera video phone

    evesmith2



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: David Reid.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 1.

    Dear evesmith2,
    you have restored my faith in humanity. I have been sitting here contemplating . . . certain things, and had come to the conclusion that there was no good left in the world, and that there was no point in going on with things, but then your e-mail regarding my Nokia 7600 video phone arrived in my inbox. The story of your boss' daughter's mission really did touch my heart, it showed me that there was more to this world than evil, selfishness and greed; that there was something to live for.
    Shipping to Nigeria is fine from my end, so long as you can trust the natives, I've heard that they have sticky-fingers other there. I would be more than happy to deal with you through any kind of web-service that asks for my bank details, providing that you can vouch for its security. I have had a problem previously with people taking my goods without paying, if this were to happen again then I would be sure to reach for the paracetimol again, and this time it wouldn't be a cry for help.

    Yours, with hope,
    Vic Jameson.



    From: David Reid.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 2.

    Thanks for getting back to me,and also ready to trade with me.i want you toknow that i am ready to make sure that you not hurt in this trade.i promise to give you adequate secutiry on your account.i will be very happy if you can sell the item for me.and i will be payiny by international money order via Bidpay a subsdiary os western union. The Bidpay policies are sinple and that stand as the intermidiary between you the seller and i the buyer protecting both of us from any problem of rupcy.once i make the money they will send you confirmatory message that i have pay your money and they will ask you to do your own part by sending the tracking number to them not me now to know wheather the item has been ship out of the store, once they confirm this your mo0ney will be send to your contact adress.

    Kindly get back to me.

    Rgaedas



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: David Reid.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 2.

    Dear Rgaedas,
    I have had a particularly tough day, but the constant thought of your boss' daughter's good work has kept me from ending my own life. Would her educational mission involve teaching Nigerian children how to make a living of their own instead of spending their lives as thieving peasants? I do hope that is the case.
    Bidpay sounds like a very trustworthy organisation to me, especially considering that my IQ is below 100. If you make this 'payment' to Bidpay then I will send the item to any address within Nigeria that you supply. I would also be interested to hear from any Nigerian government officials who are in need of a bank account in order to get some money out of the country, if your boss' daughter knows of any.

    With continuing hope.
    Vic Jameson.



    From: David Reid.
    To: Vic Jameson.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 3.

    Hello,
    thanks for getting back to me.and im happy that you want to sell it for me in order to give my boss child.I want you to get back to me with the total amont with the shipping amount to nigeria via ups.
    And also get get back to me with your full name and address so that i can made the payment in time.
    Thanks for getting back to me o nce aggain.
    Regards.



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: David Reid.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 4.

    Dear Rgaedas,
    I was close to cutting my wrists ragged today, but again the thought of your boss' daughter brought me back to reason. It is only the fact that nobody has tried to steal from me that continues to hold me back from the brink of suicide.

    My full name and address is:

    Adolf Eichmann
    The Reichstag
    Platz der Republik
    Berlin
    10557
    UK

    It will cost a mere £99.15.4 for the phone and postage to Nigeria, land of education and thievery. I hope the fictitious daughter of your boss enjoys the phone as much as I have. Its small size and vigorous vibrate function, when coupled with my colon has given me hours of joy.
    For no apparent reason I am going to let you know that the next person who tries to steal from me will be directly responsible for me killing myself. I hope to hear from you and Bidpay very soon.

    I expect a reply before I send this.
    Vic Jameson.



    For one reason or another, I really don't know which of the many valid reasons available it was, I heard nothing back from Rgaedas. Funny that, isn't it?



    From: Vic Jameson.
    To: David Reid.
    Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
    Sent: Day 8.

    Dear Rgaedas,
    I have heard nothing from you, nor from Bidpay in the past day or two, is everything alright? I hope you haven't given in to the desire to take all the sleeping pills, I know it can be difficult, but just think of the good work your boss' daughter is doing. Does that not fill you with the joy you would normally expect from a vibratory toy?
    If she has no need for the phone anymore, possibly due to the loss of an ear, do let me know as soon as possible so that I can put the phone back on Ebay. It is a very popular model in Nigeria.
    In between thoughts of suicide and despair I can't help but wonder if you are Jewish by any chance? If you are I have a fantastic proposition for you that could make you a lot of money. It has nothing to do with gas chambers, honest.

    Reply or I'll send the Gestapo round.
    Vic Jameson.




    I don't hold out much hope in getting anything from Rgaedas again, but do stay tuned for the tale of 'Muo Wayne' and his gender swapping children from Nigeria, currently at Day 14. The depression has gone, but the slave trade is alive and well. You have been warned.
    Wednesday, October 13, 2004
     
    Last Days of The Raj.

    I was walking outside earlier in the day and was faced with a bizarre image. Lumbering towards me, with a slender but unattractive friend, was something I can only describe as a monster, the nastiest thing you would have wanted to see all day, a beast in female form. I know it's unkind, and that there's not much that can be done about it outside the realm of extensive facial surgery, and even then there's only so much that cosmetic procedures can do, but is a bag out of the question? I wouldn't mind about eye-holes, even a loosely fitting balaclava would suffice. First, the excessively ugly need to be put on a national register and those in the vicinity warned that sudden aesthetic shock might be a likelihood. Second, state sponsored masks should be distributed to the ugly free of charge, but must be worn at all times. Third, those that fail to register or fail to wear their masks will be imprisoned in special windowless units being constructed throughout the North and in Wales, two areas of extreme ugliness insurgence. Fourth and finally, the residences of those deemed a danger to the eyes will be marked by a painted Medusa logo as a warning for unwitting passers-by. I say this not out of spite, but duty. It is the responsibility of every single one of us to eradicate this problem that has become the scourge of a once beautiful nation. Raj Persaud, the man you may remember as the doctor on 'This Morning' has put his name to a governmental bill, along with a substantial dossier that states the following:

    My recent studies are suggesting that a terrifying trend that has been with us for many years in on the increase. Being a proper doctor I decided to investigate the thoughts of my more elderly patients to see if we can not learn things of the past from them; a rather scientific study that a proper doctor such as myself might be expected to perform, and I am one, a proper doctor. From my investigation into the thoughts of the elderly I can only draw two obvious conclusions straight away, although others are heavily suggested.

    (i) Global warming is a definite reality.
    This, it transpires, is shown by the replies I got from a simple question, namely, "What were the winters like when you were young?", and the answered were striking. Over seventy percent of my geriatrics remember the winters being much worse when they were younger, nothing like the mild winters we see these days. What other evidence does one need to see that the climate has warmed to such an extent as to create a marked difference in the very seasons we experience. This is the opinion of myself and many other proper doctors like me.

    (ii) People are becoming more ugly.
    This conclusion, that has been arrived at by a qualified doctor, a proper one, has arisen from my many conversations with my control group of pensioners. It was concluded that the younger generation looked very scruffy and sloppy; a conclusion arrived to in a group session which adds even more weight to the argument. My thesaurus informed me that scruffy and sloppy can both have similar meanings to ugly, providing a single cause for the numerous effects.

    (iii) Sundry conclusions alluded to but never fully agreed to in group sessions.
    Manners are a thing of the past was a widely held belief, although it was decided by others that this was more a lack of respect in general. The closure of Post Offices was widely frowned upon, but not by me. One final matter worth mentioning is that the extended version of Countdown and its new time of showing is not agreeable with my work hours and should therefore be reconsidered.

    As a result of this study being performed there is clearly a need for immediate action to be taken on points (i) and (ii), and certainly serious consideration should be taken with the cluster of matters I directed you towards in point (iii). Being a proper doctor it is not up to me to make legislation suggestions like some I refrain from mentioning (Andrew Wakefield), but whatever must be done it must be done soon before we all drown in melted ice-cap surrounded by the bloated corpses of the ugly.

    The Doctor, Raj Persaud.


    Far be it from me to scare-monger, but surely the time for panic is now. Without my extreme, yet essential measures it may soon be considered 'normal' to resemble the horror that my eyes beheld today, and where is the good in that? I ask you, if not for my sake, for the sake of your children, do you want them dead and surrounded by people who make Thora Hurd look like a nymphet who delivers herself upstairs by her own erotic means of transport? Of course you don't.

    Are you are one of these people, these revolting minions that wander like roaming pocks across the face of this once lush country? If you aren't sure you should ask a sullen looking stranger just to make certain. If you fall into the category of freakish deviants that soil the very essence of what it is to be British, then I implore of you, please register and take your mask, spray-paint and stencil without any trouble on your part, because the authorities don't want to restrain you, they simply must.
    Tuesday, September 14, 2004
     
    I don't believe it!

    A question has been hovering around my mind of late, specifically; should the elderly be summarily killed? An incident that happened this very afternoon have firmly confirmed to me that yes, they should, and without remorse. This might seem a little harsh, and before today I might have agreed had you caught me in a good mood, but certainly never again, and let it be the elderly of Cambridgeshire who will pioneer this cleansing. I'm not being randomly unkind here, there is method, and a by-product of this final solution to the excess geriatric mountain building its wrinkly slopes in Europe can only be a sky-rocketing economy, a happier population and plenty of glue for everyone.

    It all began a few weeks ago, when Briar, the fellow contributor to this online tome suggested a trip to London to see some filming of the BBC television production Little Britain. It sounded like a great plan to me, so I agreed, not even given the slightest hint that this would result in a view-changing experience that requires the decimation of an entire world population. The wheels were in motion though, and nothing could stop the inevitable events that led to my epiphany.

    Getting down to Cambridgeshire from York was the easy bit, but finding the exact location of my rendezvous was to be a little harder. I'm happy to admit at being terrible at following directions, but I do have to point out at this point that the instructions could have been a little clearer. Needless to say I ended up getting lost, and after realising at last that I actually must be lost I did most of what the Highway Code asks of me and parked safely, ensuring that the impediment to both pedestrians and vehicles alike was minimised. This seemed to satisfy most people, the bus full of school-children disembarking ahead of me on the opposite side of the road, the nosey neighbour with the bad perm who pretended to be busy whilst standing at the end of her drive, in fact everyone. Well, everyone except for the old man with the blue plastic bag.

    He seemed innocuous from a distance, just the usual type of bumpkin I would expect to see in the Fens. His wax-jacket was worn, as if excessively scratched by sexual congress with pigs. His plastic bag bulged, containing some unknown and vile mystery, possibly the head of an ex-wife, or maybe his mother's. As he got closer I couldn't help but pay absolutely no heed to his thunderous mood and leathery, blood-vessel streaked face fixed in a misery-fuelled grimace as I was busy sending a text message, one arm nonchalantly resting on the edge of my open window, a good look, but one I would certainly regret.

    Before I knew what was happening he was upon me, leering in through my open window like a chimpanzee staring out at the visitors that get to go home at the end of their day out at the zoo. He was gibbering, spitting out words at me, the stranger in his bog. I finally understood what he was saying before the third repetition of his gripe, the stench of his breath capable of melting teeth and a distinct smell of dried urine had begun to assail my nose. It transpires that my indiscretion was nothing more than parking with two wheels of my car on the kerb. I didn't point out that he was a pedestrian haranguing me about the pavement being no place for a car whilst he was standing in the middle of the road, I merely prayed for another reckless driver, but alas it was not to be.

    I asked him if he would prefer I obstructed the road causing a car to drive into one of the alighting school-children. Something about him reminded me of a child murderer, and as he didn't try to deny my accusation we can all be sure that I was right, and in future consider him such. This foul defiler of children was next to do something that I considered the only sensible thing that likely crossed his mind that day, he decided to leave. In an encouraging tone I politely suggested that, yes; he should "fuck off".

    Oh dear. It would appear that in the Fens the phrase "fuck off" means "please come and annoy me further"; how was I to know? He did, only this time grabbing the edge of my door and spitting more fervently than before. It was about this time I began considering other things the bag may contain, a knife, a gun; some of the stuff that makes his breath smell so terribly bad? He'd had his child-murdering chance, and I wasn't prepared to let him take it, and my life along with it. Pushing his revolting arms from my door I began to raise my window, a transparent blockage that would at least protect me from the stench. He lunged, as if to strike me like he had struck children so many times before, but his punch, like his appearance had a lot to be desired.

    I had been rational. I hadn't beaten him to death as he so richly deserved. I wanted to, but now it was time to resort to the big guns, and out they came. "Fuck off you cunt" seemed like the only appropriate response to feigned violence. It did the job and off he loped, striking the side of my vehicle as he left; I assume to confirm my last assertion.

    I was left shocked and appalled that the old and useless could behave in such a degrading manner, encouraging violence like Adolf Hitler sixty five years ago. Looking in my rear-view mirror I could see the wrinkled offender was taking a great perverse pleasure in describing our vulgar altercation to every single person living along the road, no doubt making his day richer and fuller than any that had preceded it.

    So there it is, the incident in all its foul glory. I'm sure now that you will see the sense of my genocide and why it must be. As well as phasing out such incidents as I have explained here it will, in one swoop completely solve the problem of pension shortfalls. The fewer elderly and ugly people we see then the happier we become, this has been verified by several independent sources as fact. On top of all of these positive outcomes the enormous stockpile of bodies will provide glue, and ironically soap, something that is rarely used by the elderly.

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