A trip down to the shops.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
 
Scam I Am.

This has exactly the same story as the previous scammers tale of Rgaedas, and in fact they were both trying to scam me out of the same product, the Nokia 7600 video camera phone. His eagerness to scam me seems to transcend reason on many occasions, but even Muo Wayne has his breaking point.



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 1.

Hello seller,
complement on the season, i got ur product on the site and which i wanna get it down for my son in africa.
my name is Muo Wayne am from netherland i really wanna but the items for my son so i want u to claculate the UPS shipping charge to africa as soon as this is done i want u to reply me back fast so we can quick get this done .

I have been out seaching for this item so when i was doing my seaching i got to your item , so i will like to buy maybe 2 of it now and i juet open an accout with bidpay {western union auction payment } so i wish to send my payment through this method so mail me back with your address information and the total of the item you are willing to sell for me

THANKS



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 1.

Dear Muo Wayne,
You have not been specific enough. Africa is a large continent that comprises of many countries, and it costs much more to send a package to Sudan than to South Africa, mainly due to the political leanings of most UPS agents. If it is of interest I am doing a special half-price discount this week on all packages sent to Nigeria, I hope you will be able to take me up on this offer.
I am prepared to sell 2 Nokia video phones for only £251.83, a price I am sure you will agree to considering you are using Bidpay. I am not sure why your son would need two of these phones though, Unless he has two heads, like a Thalidomide victim. Do you want both phones sent to the same address, or perhaps I could send one to you in the Nether-regions that you inhabit?

Please respond with extreme haste.
Vic Jameson.



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 2.

Hello seller i got ur mail and i want u to give me ur address and full name so that i can make the payment to day and also reply me back fast be i can go to my bank this is the following address i want u to ship it to in africa coss i want it for my son in africa so am gonnna be paying u here in netherland ok SO I WANT U TO TELL ME THE FULL AMOUNT SO AM GONNA BE PAYING TO U TODAY AND ALSO THE ADDRESS AND ASWELL

REMA WAYNE

1 SHOLA BELLO STREET AKIODE

IKEJA

LAGOS STATE

23401

NIGERIA

seller the phone is going to my son in africa and he is not using it there but reselling it at the staore in africa ok. so ur address so i can make the payment today



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 4.

Dear Muo Wayne,
How fortunate that you want the phones to be sent to Nigeria. Who would have thought that out of all the countries on that large continent it would be Nigeria that you wanted the phone sent to, I'm quite lost for words. This means that I will be able to sell you these phones, includung postage and packing for only £369.69. Please ensure that Bidpay tell me that you have made this spurious payment as soon as possible so that I can send the items to you.

My details a

Moors Murderer Ian Brady,
Ashworth Secure Psychiatric Hospital,
Parkbourn,
Maghull,
L31 1HW

I am glad to hear that your son is not a genetic freak, but is in fact an entrepreneur. It is better than living the life of a thief as some people from Nigeria choose.

Reply instantly, I demand it.
Vic Jameson.



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 4.

Thank you for your immediate replies and understandings.i am just coming from my bank and I have just sent you the payment and i hope western union has notify you of my payment and if not yet, i believe they will do so soonest ok? So i sent you the money for the phone and the shipping arrangement ,so that it will be ok for you and as i told you it urgent,so as soon as you recieve the comfirmation of my payment i will wan't you to mail me and also send the phone to my daughter asap today or tommorow . So you will need to send the shipment tracking number you to the western union customers service (westernunion.costumer.services@emailaccount.com)for shipment verification and after the shipment tracking number is verified. They can send you the money order to your resident and the money order will be brought to your resident by the western union agent as long as you can provide the PIN NUMBER you are giving on the confirmation approval of my payment to prove you are the right person to recieve the money order ok?

Thanks.



It was now time for his scam to take off proper. It was time for intervention by Western Union themselves . . . or was it? As it happens I really don't think Western Union use the email address union@writeme.com, nor do I believe that their customer services email address is provided my emailaccount.com either. Well, at least he was trying.



From: Western Union.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: ORDER PENDING.
Sent: Day 4.


Dear Moors Murderer Ian Brady,

Western union BidPay® has received your email address from Muo Wayne to inform you of the order to have a £369.69 Western Union ® Money OrderSM sent to you for:

Auction Item : Nokia 7600 Mobile Phone

Please verify that the following address (as entered by the buyer) is correct.

Moors Murderer Ian Brady,
Ashworth Secure Psychiatric Hospital,
Parkbourn,
Maghull,
L31 1HW
UK

As a seller, all payment will be sent to the outline address, in order to avoid delays with this money order and with future payments.

This order is PENDING approval. Most orders are approved within 24 hours of being placed; however, there may be exceptions. Some items may be considered high risk because of the item cost or description. These types of orders are subject to additional verification and may take longer to approve. You will receive an Order Approved email from us when this order is approved. You SHOULD NOT send this item to the buyer until you receive the confirmation email informing you that the order has been approved.

Thank you for using Western Union BidPay. We look forward to serving your online auction payment needs in the future.

Sincerely,

Amir Muighburin

Western Union BidPay



From: Western Union.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: ORDER APROVED.
Sent: Day 4.



Dear Moors Murderer Ian Brady,

Western Union BidPay ® hereby congratulate you and also want to inform you that the ® Money OrderSM sent to you from Muo wayne has been Approved.

® Money OrderSM : £369.69
Auction Item : Nokia 7600 Phone
Please verify that the following address (as entered by the buyer) is correct once again.

Moors Murderer Ian Brady,
Ashworth Secure Psychiatric Hospital,
Parkbourn,
Maghull,
L31 1HW
UK

This mo ney order has been approved and will be sent out TODAY to the above address provided by the buyer and you should expect it in 72 hours. You CAN NOW send the items to the buyer. Moreover you will also identify your self with your ®drivers licence or your ®Social security number.

N.B

NOTE THAT THE MONEY ORDER WILL NOT GET TO YOUR RESIDENCE IF SHIPMENT TRACKING NUMBER IS NOT SENT TO US IN THE NEXT 24HRS FOR SHIPMENT VERIFICATION IN OTHER TO SECURE BOTH THE SELLER AND THE BUYER.

And if you have any question, feel free to contact our customer service at (westernunion.costumer.services@emailaccount.com)

Thank you for using Western Union BidPay ®. We look forward to serving your online auction payment needs in the future.

Sincerely,

Amir Muighburin

Western Union BidPay



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 5.

Dear Muo Wayne,
I have received a message from Bidpay telling me that my payment has been 'aproved'. It certainly is a very efficient service, and one I trust you used to forward the money to your son for his sex change operation. I hope he will be accepted for who he is.
I will attempt to post the package tomorrow and will alert Bidpay through the bogus e-mail address provided. I must warn you that UPS is currently on strike in the UK in protest of the brown and yellow uniforms they have to wear; not that I blame them. This means I may have to use an alternative courier service, but I will inform you of what I decide and send you the tracking information.
I am sorry if this is inconvenient, but I have never been ripped-off in this way before, so please forgive me. I trust that if you accept your son's decision then you shouldn't have a problem with this.

Let me know if you are ok with this. Now.
Vic Jameson.



It was now time for my own scam to get into full swing. The next day my afternoon involved going into town and finding a suitable box that would look like it might contain a mobile phone or two. I chose a lovely blue number with a removable lid, took it home, padded it out with some tissue, and then I extracted all the shit I could find from my cat's litter tray and laid the offerings inside.

It was wrapped in brown paper, addressed to Rema Wayne and taken down to the post office to be sent to Nigeria.




From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 5.

Hello seller well i got ue mail and i wanna ask for how long is the items gonna reach africa and how about ups y cant u send it there.......



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 6.

Dear Muo Wayne,
Due to having to escape the police because of a serious crime I have commited I cannot use UPS anymore. You must understand this, or I may have to sell this phone to another Nigerian rip-off merchant. I have sent the phone to you already via Royal Mail though, so there is not much that I can do about this.
I must say that I am surprised that you cannot seem to accept this simple change considering the change in your son's genitalia that you find completely acceptable. Seeing as you can still keep track of the parcel sent, and that it has cost more than UPS for no extra charge to you I think it would be unreasonable for you to complain. You can track the parcel here:

http://www.royalmail.com/portal/rm

Click on Track & Trace and put in the tracking code:

RI 1158 9517 5GB

I hope this satisfies you sufficiently. I will also send this information to the sham e-mail address you provided for Bidpay so they can release the money to me. How will this happen? Will they supply me in Monopoly money, with a cheque, or maybe a bogus postal order?

Immediate response demanded.
Vic Jameson.



Time to let Western Union (*cough* bollocks *cough*) know the details also.



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Western Union.
Subject: Tracking Number.
Sent: Day 6.

Dear Western Union/Bidpay,
I have sent the goods which can be tracked via the code:

RI 1158 9517 5GB

This has been sent by Royal Mail (www.royalmail.com)

My details are:

Moors Murderer Ian Brady,
Ashworth Secure Psychiatric Hospital,
Parkbourn,
Maghull,
L31 1HW
UK

You may now send me my money from the Nigerian Muo Wayne, who assures me that his son's decision to become a woman is fully endorsed by him and his family. Still, at least neither of them have to steal from good hard working people like me, as I am sure we can all agree that thieves are scum, and deserve nothing less than fecal matter delivered directly to their doorstep.

In the vain hope of getting money.
Moors Murderer Ian Brady.



From: Western Union.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: ORDER DELAY.
Sent: Day 7.



Dear costumer,

Thank u for using BidPay®.

We are to inform you that you have provied an incorrect tracking number for this auction and that the buyer to contact Ebay and report for the following act and also for your both secure use when items been sent dont send the tracking to the buyer untill u have your cash® .

Sincerely,

Amir Muighburin

Western Union BidPay



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Western Union.
Subject: ORDER DELAY.
Sent: Day 7.

Dear Western Union\Bidpay,
I fear that you are confusing me with somebody else. I am not, as you so stated, a costumer, or costumier as we prefer to say in the United Kingdom. My job is fact that of a 'white slave trader', perfect if you require a white woman to be your forced bride, but not if you want me to dress somebody as Richard the third.
If you recheck the tracking number RI 1158 9517 5GB at http://www.royalmail.com/portal/rm/track then you will find that the parcel is well on its way to Nigeria. Surely only the most retarded operator would be able to get this wrong.
Out of interest, have you recently employed a person from Nigeria to write your emails, as the grammar, spelling and general competence of your last email reminds me of those I recieve from Muo Wayne, a man I am growing increasingly distrustful of? If I can tell you this in confidence, then between you and me I have a feeling that Muo Wayne is ridden with syphilis, and the madness that springs forth thereof. It is likely due to a life of whore-mongery, deceit and stupidity. Perhaps a small amount of the money entrusted to you for me can be returned to him in order for him to purchase some condoms so as not to spread his filthy diseases.

I look forward to a hasty and satisfactory response.
Moors Murderer Ian Brady.


I heard nothing for three days after this, and so I naturally assumed that the whole thing was at an end but for Muo Wayne's little surprise package. Oh how wrong I was.



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 10.

Dear Muo Wayne,
What on Earth is happening? It appears that like a paedophile with a Werther's Original you lured me in and abused my kindly nature, I do hope this isn't the case. I have received NO word from Bidpay since they erroneously sent me a rather badly misspelled and atrociously worded email I cannot even fully attest to the fact that is an attempt at communication.
I suspect that the company has been taken over by illiterate spastics and your money is not safe there. As a result we must find a different method of payment for the wonderful pieces I have sent you, items that you must no doubt be eager to receive. As you will see, the tracking information tells us both that the package has been passed on to the overseas mail sevices and that you will 'get it' soon. I am happy to accept a forged cheque, or the national currency of Nigeria which I have been led to believe is the 'SIM card'.
You already have my address at the Hospital where you must send payment within the next twelve hours, this is a final demand of the highest urgency. I wish harm to you and your family if you are a thieving gypsy.

The Nokias are crap anyway.
Vic Jameson.



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 10.

Hello western told me they got tracking number but said it not going through so i wanna comfrim from u coss i tod them to wait am gonna sk if the tems was sending to my son..



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 11.

Dear Muo Wayne,
The tracking number of RI 1158 9517 5GB has not changed since sending you the last email containing it. Neither did I make an error in the two times I sent Bidpay the details, that's just not the kind of thing I would do, I'm not that much of a fool. As I said before, I believe that Western Union has become a den of imbecile thieves who should not be entrusted with your made-up money.
For some reason Bidpay told me not to tell you the tacking number, but considering having it would mean the package is on its way to you it seems a pointless excercise; another reason why I believe Western Union has become a cess-pit of African thieves with no mental capacity. I am sure you have checked the tracking details yourself, and are aware that the package is nearly with you, have you done this?
You must send Bidpay an email, a company who may understand most of what you are saying as their ability with the English language is only slightly worse than yours, and tell them that they must release the money to me instantly. I can't think of any reason, unless the money doesn't exist, why they would not do this.

Reply to me, don't steal from me.
Vic Jameson.



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 12.

Hello seller they will get ur money sent all they just wanna do is to know i really u send the items or not so now u have told me thia am gonna go to the bank and tel them what gong on. ok



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 12.

Dear Muo Wayne,
Thank you for your swift reply. You know it's funny, but I didn't think I'd hear much from you once the item was winging its way to your gender-challenged son/daughter. I am sure you can imagine my joy at our continued correspondence regarding the difficult issue of the money you owe me that is severly overdue.
From your previous email I take it that you will inform Bidpay to send me my money, and an email ensuring me that this is the case, in English as opposed to the language they used prevously. If this issue is not resolved within the last twelve hours of yesterday then I will have to take further measures, possibly even up to the point of activating my Islamic terror cell in Nigeria to take action.

Out of interest, do you have any other children with you in the Netherlands under the age of sixteen? I love taking walking trips on Saddleworth Moor, but my trekking partner, Myra, has recently died. As it is only a short walk from the Netherlands to England I wondered if perhaps next time I was off for a ramble a son or daughter of yours may like to come with me? I can't promise thet they'll want to come back it is so peaceful there. Do let me know what you decide.

Ever finding a way to evade the nurses.
Vic Jameson.



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 13.

Hello chris how are u doing today well i have a daugter but she is in africa too i will show u her pic but what are u trying to do u try to buy my daughter from me like the way i brought ur phone....



Then, five minutes later...



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 13.

Hello here is the pics so i wanna know how many days does the shipping takes





From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 13.

Dear Muo Wayne,
My word, what a lovely daughter you have. I trust she is not the one that used to be a man. Although my main job is buying and selling white people, the offer of purchasing your daughter does intrigue me. How much would you be prepared to sell her for, and will she give her consent for such a transaction? Please do let me know as soon as possible and I will use Bidpay to send the money to you in exchange for your daughter.
The package I sent you should take between five and ten days to get to you, and it will require your signature once it arrives. Do let me know if you are happy with what I have sent you, and if your son/daughter finds a good price for it in the stores there in Nigeria. Let him/her know that Nigerians are always looking for ways to steal, so she/he should be very careful.
I would ask you not to call me Chris, even though that is what it may say on the emails you get from me. Chris was the name of my wife who died a horrible and painful death only a few months ago and I have not taken her name from my email account yet. My name is Ian Brady, Moors Murderer, but that has nothing to do with the demise of my wife. She was gang raped to death by lesbians in prison, but I would prefer not to talk about it.

With hope of buying your offspring.
Vic Jameson.



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 13.

Hello Brady,

well i got ur mail and am not selling my daughter to u so if u really want to see her when she is back from africa u can come here in netherland to see here ok but am sure she has a bf of her own.



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 14.

Dear Muo Wayne,
I am saddened that we cannot come to a satisfactory deal regarding your daughter, but if you ever change your mind don't hesitate in dropping me a line, I don't mind going back to the old-school in my line of business. On the same note, if you are interested in buying any white women from me I would be happy to send you a small bio of some of my best items, do tell me if this arouses you in any way.
I have still heard nothing from Western Union which is slightly worrying, and if I didn't know any better I would have thought you were trying to acquire phones without paying. Please ensure that they send me an email informing me that my payment has been sent as I can't wait to see how much their grammar, spelling and punctuation has degraded. Whoever writes those emails must have phones-for-brains.
Were I not to get any message from Western Union/Bidpay withing the next day or two I will have no alternative but to contact the Post Office and ask them to return my package post-haste. This is something I would rather not do, but I don't give this crap away for free.

Demanding multiple responses.
Vic Jameson.



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 14.

Hello seller there was delay coss f the thanksgiving ok



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 14.

Dear Muo Wayne,
I have been to the Bidpay website, and they themselves claim that there are no delays due to a holiday celebrated in neither my country, the Nether-regions you are found around, or the place your son/daughter and prefessionally photographed daughter whom I am unable to purchase reside. This means that your answer is unsatisfactory. I demand an email from Bidpay within 24 hours, and you know what will happen if I don't. I also have the threat of my Islamic terror cell which I have yet to fall back on. When combined with the address you have provided and a 747 I'm sure you will agree that there can be no reason for Bidpay not to contact me, even if it means you writing the email yourself.
You did not say whether you are interested in the purchase of a white woman to do your every bidding, I can assure you that it would be worth all the SIM cards you are worth. Unless of course you are not into women, I could sell you a very well hung white man with his own built in lubricant dispenser and a willingness to 'drag up'. If either of the above offers interest you then do let me know.
On the subject of your daughter, the real one that is, not the one that used to be a man; do you have any naked pictures of her, as the delays I have experienced regarding your money deserve nothing less. As an alternative you could always send me some naked pictures of yourself, that might stop me informing the Post Office of the delay in payment. It's in your hands, like the penis of your boyfriend.

Reply or die.
Vic Jameson.



From: Muo Wayne.
To: Vic Jameson.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 15.

Hello enoghf of this shit u will get ur money soon ok. will contact bidpay ok



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 15.

Dear Muo Wayne,
I don't think you've had enough of my shit just yet, but you will soon. That said, I have had to deal with enough of yours up until now, so we are probably even at this point.
I am sorry if my insinuation that you were a shit-stabber caused offence, it certainly wasn't supposed to, but the vulgar language you used in return was quite unacceptable. This may be because English is not your first or second language, but do please be aware that using the word 'enoghf' is disgusting, obscene and fucking atrocious, never use it in any of our communications again.
I have still heard nothing from Bidpay, which is very odd is it not? One would expect a company as well respected as Western Union would not act like a common Nigerian thief, of which I am sure your daughter and son/daughter know many from simply walking the streets touting for business. Talking of which, even though I cannot purchase your lovely daughter outright, would it be possible to secure her for an evening at a time? I understand fifty pounds is the going rate and I would be happy to pay that sum.

Money for nothing but your 'kids' for free!
Vic Jameson.



It didn't come as a great surprise that I stopped hearing from Muo Wayne eventually, but considering that there must be a limit to his gullability it was surprising that it took so long. I tried again to contact him.



From: Vic Jameson.
To: Muo Wayne.
Subject: Nokia 7600 Video Camera Phone.
Sent: Day 18.

Dear Muo Wayne,
I have been left rather non-plussed by your recent excuses, and to compound my feelings of mistrust I have still heard nothing from Bidpay, why could this be? Do you not have the wit to attempt another email? To be honest, it doesn't even have to be very convincing, much like the previous ones, just show that you're making an effort for my goods.
If you intend to take my shit without paying then beyond sending a parcel bomb to the address you provided to maim your transexual son there would seem to be little I can do. All I can say is that I live with the satisfaction of being a useful member of society and not a gypsy-like economic letch forced to pick over the bones of the terminally stupid on the internet. I mean, really, how many times, if ever, has this little ploy of yours ever been successful?
Do keep me updated and let me know how you get on with what I have sent you; what you have managed to steal. You must be awfully proud of your achievments thus far, and to contributing towards Niegeria's fourth largest industry, that of internet fraud. It only leaves for me to call you a cunt and to bid you good day.

In the satisfaction that you will get what you deserve.
Vic Jameson.



It is unfortunate, but I have heard nothing more from him. However, it will be possible for you all to check the status of the parcel at the Roayal Mail website, and unless customs were alerted by the smell I have no doubt that he will sign-for and accept my cat's shit. As I said, he will get exactly what he deserves.

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